100 signs and tactics used in grooming.
1–20: Early Manipulation & Trust-Building Tactics
- Excessive flattery
- Love-bombing (overwhelming affection/attention)
- Complimenting in ways that feel too personal, too soon
- Rapid escalation of intimacy
- Offering special gifts or favors
- Making the victim feel “chosen” or “unique”
- Mirroring interests or beliefs to appear compatible
- Creating artificial shared experiences
- Sharing secrets to build false closeness
- Presenting as a mentor or protector
- Playing the victim to gain sympathy
- Constant praise for things others overlook
- Quick declarations of love or attachment
- Excessive time spent together, discouraging personal space
- Pushing “us vs. them” narratives
- Offering to solve all of the victim’s problems
- Creating a sense of destiny or fate
- Idealizing the victim beyond reason
- Making the victim feel indebted
- Testing small boundaries to gauge compliance
21–40: Isolation Tactics
- Discouraging relationships with friends or family
- Calling others “toxic” or jealous
- Creating conflicts with support systems
- Controlling access to phone or social media
- Guilt-tripping when the victim spends time away
- Refusing to attend events unless they’re in control
- Labeling outside relationships as threats
- Spreading lies or rumors about the victim’s allies
- Using jealousy to manipulate emotions
- Making the victim feel dependent on them
- Financial control to limit independence
- Demanding all the victim’s time
- Making the victim feel they’re “not understood” by anyone else
- Controlling transportation or living arrangements
- Moving too fast into cohabitation
- Offering housing or shelter with strings attached
- Demanding access to passwords and devices
- Undermining the victim’s self-sufficiency
- Reinforcing distrust in others
- Monitoring or stalking behavior disguised as “protection”
41–60: Emotional Manipulation Tactics
- Gaslighting (denying the victim’s reality)
- Playing hot and cold
- Creating confusion intentionally
- Blaming the victim for their emotions
- Using shame to control behavior
- Withholding affection as punishment
- Giving the silent treatment
- Using guilt to maintain control
- Creating fake emergencies for attention
- Triangulating (bringing in third parties to create conflict)
- Comparing the victim to others to lower self-esteem
- Acting superior or “wiser”
- Pretending to be “misunderstood” when confronted
- Overreacting to minor issues
- Making the victim apologize for their feelings
- Feigning ignorance to avoid accountability
- Constantly shifting blame
- Minimizing the victim’s concerns
- Setting up no-win scenarios
- Using affection as a weapon
61–80: Boundary Violations & Testing
- Ignoring the word “no”
- Pressuring for physical or emotional intimacy
- Crossing personal space boundaries
- Reading private messages or emails without permission
- Talking negatively about the victim’s body or appearance
- Making sexual comments disguised as jokes
- Dismissing discomfort as “overreacting”
- Taking control over life decisions (career, dress, etc.)
- Controlling the victim’s schedule
- Forcing forgiveness after betrayal
- Punishing autonomy
- Testing how much the victim will tolerate
- Pushing boundaries and apologizing later
- Using spiritual or moral superiority as leverage
- Demanding access to personal history or trauma
- Manipulating the victim to share secrets
- Gaslighting consent (“You said yes”)
- Touching or invading space without consent
- Recording or photographing the victim without permission
- Challenging the victim’s right to privacy
81–100: Control, Exploitation & Domination
81. Making escape feel impossible or dangerous
82. Making threats (direct or subtle)
83. Using secrets against the victim
84. Blackmail or emotional blackmail
85. Threatening self-harm if abandoned
86. Isolating during moments of vulnerability
87. Using children or pets as leverage
88. Undermining the victim’s confidence
89. Encouraging dependence on drugs or alcohol
90. Forcing compliance through fear
91. Belittling the victim’s achievements
92. Controlling money or resources
93. Engaging in stalking or surveillance
94. Pushing illegal, unethical, or degrading acts
95. Claiming “ownership” of the victim
96. Public shaming or humiliation
97. Making the victim feel worthless without them
98. Forcing loyalty tests
99. Manipulating the victim’s moral values
100. Grooming the victim to distrust authorities